Monday, January 19, 2009

Monday Morning Pet Peeve - Inauguration Edition!

My fellow Americans, in this installment of Monday Morning Pet Peeves I'm going to hit you off with two of them, since I witnessed it being done at the same time!

The first pet peeve is summer clothes in the winter! I find it hard to believe that wearing shorts and a sweatshirt when it's the dead of winter makes any type of sense what-so-ever! Does your legs not get cold?? Are those long johns? or are you just ashy? This doesn't just apply to shorts! Flip Flops all year around make me want to slap someone! How are frostbitten toes sexy?? You look like an idiot who does not know how to dress for the weather. People from a certain race (not nameing any names here) are the main perpetrators of this fashion crime. If someone can please explain this phenomenon to me, I'm all ears.

I'm also upset at the parents, who allow their children out of the house, without a coat. Numerous times I've witnessed young children walking (with their parents) without a coat or sweater, in shorts and a t-shirt in mid-December. You may ask yourself, "why does this bother you so much DJ Oz?? Those aren't your kids??" I'll tell you why, because that snotty-nose lil' bastard is getting sick, and because kids don't believe in tissues, he will wipe is snot on his hand and subsequently clothes. Now, that lil' bastard is going to walk through the metro/mall/public places touching everything he can with that snotty hand. Hence, when I go to press the button for the 2nd floor, his little germs will get on my hands, and I will get sick! You may think it is far-fetched but it does make sense, and take it from someone who used to work in a daycare center, kids wipe their snot EVERYWHERE!!!

The other day I was taking the metro home from work, and I saw a couple of young people (obvious tourists) standing on the left side of the escalator. This leads me to my second pet peeve. In DC, as it is in most cities, when riding on the escalator you are to move to the left if you want to walk down/up the steps and to the right if you would like to stand still. I've noticed this in Spain as well as in Amsterdam, it's common escalator etiquette. DC is crawling with tourists for the Inauguration, more than the city has ever seen. So to all you tourist who want to use the metro, if you are going to stand, move the right. Because after a long day at work, I do not want to elbow you in the neck and push you out of the way because you want to look at your over sized map of the National Mall with your friends and figure out how to get to the Air and Space Museum, while I have 20 seconds to make it on the Green Line to Ft. Totten!!

Thank you. God bless you and God bless the United States of America!!


Blogger 100YearsOfTrash said...

There were two Ravens fans in my section at the AFC Championship game. Keep in mind there were six inches of snow on the ground, and the temperature was in the teens at best. These guys were wearing matching Ray Lewis jerseys on top, and on the bottom? You guessed it! PURPLE CAMO SHORTS

January 23, 2009 at 4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thats why, during inauguration weekend, a girl behind me told(in a rather upset voice)a group blocking the way up...standers to the right walkers to the left and pushed passed them. And as i was walking down an escalator i too said: "Please move to the right if you are going to stand. thank you." and proceeded down.

February 18, 2009 at 10:47 AM  

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